Caledonia
by Gear's Girl
Summary: A CSI reflects on her life at the lab as they find themself ready to move on.


**Caledonia**

**DISCLAIMER:** CSI is not mine...

**Summary:**_ A CSI reflects on her time at the lab as time finds her moving on._

_A/N: italics are song lyrics, the song is Caledonia by the Celtic Women._

_A/N: Please review, this could be a one shot could be more._

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She could hear them whispering softly and feel their eyes on her as she made her way through the catacombs of the crime lab. Their words stung her pride and dignity slightly; she bit her bottom lip and willed herself not to cry. Once she had been stronger and their words bounced off her like rubber. She knew she was not the most popular of the lab; she was not as pretty as Catherine, nor as intelligent and as witty as Warrick. She could not even hold her pride in like Nick or be as carefree as Greg. Lately she could not even be as mechanical or as stoic like Grissom.

_I don't know if you can see  
The changes that have come over me  
In these last few days I've been afraid  
That I might drift away  
I've been telling old stories, singing songs  
That make me think about where I've come from  
That's the reason why I seem  
So far away today_

Winding her way through the halls, she could remember the memories of old, joking with Nick in the garage, the explosion, being called a loose cannon by Ecklie on more than one occasion. She sniffed and ran a scarred hand through her dark wavy hair. Seven years of memories and pain clung to the walls of the building. She knew many of the lab had wanted her to die, and or wished her dead, some she had even used to claim as friends. It hurt to know and she wondered when she had just become a shell. Was it when his visits had stopped?

_Let me tell you that I love you  
That I think about you all the time  
Caledonia, you're calling me, now I'm going home  
But if I should become a stranger  
Know that it would make me more than sad  
Caledonia's been everything I've ever had_

She had come eagerly from San Francisco to Vegas at his very call, no questions asked. Foolish girl, she thought to herself. She often wondered what her life would have been like if she had not flown out to Sin City. _A very fitting name…_ Would she still have been a CSI for the San Francisco crime lab or working in the coroner's lab. Would she have been married with children or married to her work. A silly childhood crush had brought her out to here rather than the opportunity to work at the number one lab in the country.

_Now I have moved and I've kept on moving  
Proved the points that I needed proving  
Lost the friends that I needed losing  
Found others on the way  
I have kissed the fellas and left them crying  
Stolen dreams, yes, there's no denying  
I have traveled hard, sometimes with conscience flying_  
_Somewhere with the wind_

She clutched the letter in her hand wondering if what the reaction would be. Tears of loss or joy? If any at all or would she just fade away like the ghost, she was becoming. She pressed a hand against the windowed wall of the DNA lab watching the movement inside, a sad smile crossed her lips at the conversations that had occurred in there. Moving along she paused to hover outside the A/V lab to watch Archie sit hunched over a feed in the dimly lit room, she massaged her lower back at the phantom pain of the many hours she had sat in the lab. Keep moving, she told herself, go, she told her feet. She could hear the damned bass singing as some one entered his office, and bit her lip wondering if he had ever loved her and she was not just something to ease his aches or hold him distracted from his reality. He could never have fully taken the plunge; he always seemed to hold back. How foolish was she for thinking he actually felt something more for her.

_Let me tell you that I love you  
That I think about you all the time  
Caledonia, you're calling me, now I'm going home  
But if I should become a stranger  
Know that it would make me more than sad  
Caledonia's been everything I've ever had_

She could see the door that she needed just ahead and quickened her pace, brush past Nick and Warrick ignoring their laughter and hellos to her. She stepped into the foreboding room and handed him the letter. He motioned for her to sit as he read her letter. She sat in the chair and almost wondered if there was a gathering outside the door eavesdropping on what was going on. She wondered if he was the right person to give the letter to, of course he would grant her what she purposed; he had wanted it for as long as she could remember.

_Now I'm sitting here before the fire  
The empty room, the forest choir  
The flames have cooled, don't get any higher  
They've withered, now they've gone  
But I'm steady thinking, my way is clear  
And I know what I will do tomorrow  
When hands have shaken, the kisses float  
Then I will disappear_

He nodded and said, very well then, I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors. You will be sorely missed. She smiled and rose from her seat, a quick shake of hands and her final check and she walked out of the room, feeling somewhat lighter, the air less thick. If she could do this without anyone noticing, she would be gone before assignments were handed out. She took the box out of the locker that had for seven in a half years had been her second home.

_Let me tell you that I love you  
That I think about you all the time  
Caledonia, you're calling me, now I'm going home  
But if I should become a stranger  
Know that it would make me more than sad  
Caledonia's been everything I've ever had_

Keep walking do not look back, she told herself, do not make eye contact, do not speak. They will be happier now, he will never notice, not even at the empty bed. A stranger held the door open for her as she walked outside the doors willing herself to never enter again. With her head down she walked. She could still hear the buzz of the whispers and chatter inside, she half wondered when they would break out in _Ding Dong the Witch is Dead_. Or would their song be that of a different tune. Not that she really cared, she placed her box into the trunk of her car, smirking at the sight of the already crammed full of all her belongings Prius, and shut the hatchback trunk.

She heard her name being called out, and blinked back fresh tears as she slid into the driver's seat.

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A/N: Please Review! 


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